Friday, June 4, 2010

Joke Muna tayo..

You never even thank me for making you happy, then you throw me away just like that. I hate you for using me, for making my life full of

shit!"-  Tissue

"Hindi llahat ng kulot, salot!"-   Golddilocks

"Hindi lahat ng bubuyog, kulay itim!"-   Jollibee

"Alam kong sa tingin mo, masaya ako! Pero bakit kayo ganyan?! Sa tuwing wala na kayong masabi, ako na lang ang ginagamit nyo! Pagod na pagod
ako sa pagngiti!"- Smiley

"You can cry all you want, you could always blame me. You said, it wasn't fair that you just want life to be better. But remember, it's

all your fault! You stabbed me with a knife!" - Sibuyas

"Isubo mo ang kahabaan ko. Dilaan. Sipsipin. Paglaruan sa bibig mo.
Para lumabas ang katas ko na kinasabikan mo. Nag mamahal,"
- Ice Candy

"Bakit ayaw nyo pa rin sa akin kahit sosyal at maganda ako? Dahil ba mas sweet ang iba?". - Fruitcake

"Panakip butas mo lang pala ako!". - Panty

"Hindi lahat na walang salawal ay bastos!"- winnie d' pooh

"Alam mo ba wala akong ibang hinangad kundi ang mapalapit sa iyo.Pero patuloy ang pag-iwas mo".  - ipis

"Sawang-sawa na ako, palagi na lang akong pinagpapasa- pasahan, pagod
na pagod na ako."  - Bola

"Ginawa ko naman lahat para sumaya ka, mahirap ka ba talagang makontento sa isa? Bakit palipat-lipat ka?  - TV

"Pilitin mo man na alisin ako sa buhay mo, babalik at babalik ako!  -Libag

"Anung kasalanan ko sa iyo, iniwan mo na lang akong duguan..."
-Sanitary Napkin

"Hwag mo na akong bilugin.."  -kulangot

"Bwisit na buhay ito! Araw-araw na lang, itlog! Umaga, tanghali,
gabi, itlog! Itlog! Itlog! Lagi na lang itlog!"


"Sige, kalimutan mo ako para malaman ng iba ang baho mo!

VinceMatth Blogs..: Prayer For Finance.

VinceMatth Blogs..: Prayer For Finance.

Prayer For Finance.

Prayer for Finances (it works)

I claimed it for you - now claim it for me.

God has more than a thousand ways to provide
For us, that we know nothing about.

Here is your financial blessing!

It's a simple prayer, you got 30 Seconds?

Don't sleep on this...Someone recently
Read this for the first time and
Received exactly enough for a $0 balance
On all credit cards.

If you need a financial blessing,
Continue reading this e-mail.

Heavenly Father, most Gracious and Loving
God, I pray to you that you Abundantly bless
My family and me.

I know that you recognize, that a Family
Is more than just a mother, father, sister, brother, cousin,
Husband and wife, but all who believe and trust in You.

Dear GOD, I send up a prayer request for
Financial blessing for not only the Person who
Sent this to me, but for me and all that I have
Forwarded This message to.

And that the power of joined prayer by
Those who Believe and trust in you is
More powerful than anything!

I thank you in Advance for your blessings.
God, deliver the person reading this right Now
From debt and debt burdens.

Release your Godly wisdom that I may be a
Good steward over all that you have given me
GOD, for I know how wonderful and mighty
You are and how if we just obey you and walk
In your word and have the faith of a Mustard
Seed that you will pour out blessings.

I thank you now Lord for the recent blessings I have
Received and for the blessings yet to come,
Because I know you are not done with me yet.
In Jesus name Amen...

TAKE 60 SECONDS and send this on quickly and within hours, you will have

Caused a multitude of people to pray to God for each other. Then sit

Back and watch the power of God work in your life for doing the thing That you

Know He loves. Peace and Blessings... .

Have Faith
8 angels are sent 2 you,
You must send them to 8 people .
In 8 minutes you will receive something you have long awaited.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

What Not To Say About Someone's Appearance.

What Not to Say About Someone's Appearance.
Don’t say: “You look tired.”

Why: It implies she doesn’t look good.

Instead say: “Is everything OK?” We often blurt the “tired” comment when we get the sense that the other person feels out of sorts. So just ask.

Don’t say: “Wow, you’ve lost a ton of weight!”

Why: To a newly trim person, it might give the impression that she used to look unattractive.

Instead say: “You look fantastic.” And leave it at that. If you’re curious about how she got so svelte, add, “What’s your secret?”

Don’t say: “You look good for your age.”

Why: Anything with a caveat like this is rude. It's saying, "You look great―compared with other old people. It's amazing you have all your own teeth."

Instead say: “You look great.”

Don’t say: “I could never wear that.”

Why: It can be misunderstood as a criticism. (“I could never wear that because it’s so ugly.”)

Instead say: “You look so good in skinny jeans.” If you slip, say something like “I could never wear that…because I wasn’t blessed with your long legs.”

Monday, May 10, 2010

Facts on How to Eat Fruit.

This is informative!

We all think eating fruit means just buying fruit, cutting it up and popping it into our mouths. It's not that easy. It's important to know how and when to eat fruit.

What's the correct way to eat fruit?


Eating fruit like that plays a major role in detoxifying your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities..


Let's say you eat two slices of bread, then a slice of fruit. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it's prevented from doing so.

In the meantime, the whole meal rots and ferments, and turns to acid. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach, and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.

Eat your fruit on an empty stomach, or before your meal! You've heard people complain: Every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet, etc. This will not happen if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach. Fruit mixes with the purifying other food and produces gas. Hence, you bloat!
Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes - all of these will NOT happen if you eat fruit on an empty stomach.

There's no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruit becomes alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruit, you have the Secret of Beauty, Longevity, Health, Energy, Happiness and normal weight.

When you need to drink fruit juice drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans. Don't drink juice that has been heated. Don't eat cooked fruit; you don't get the nutrients at all. You get only the taste... Cooking destroys all of the vitamins.
Eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it. You can go on a 3-day fruit-fast to cleanse your body. Eat fruit and drink fruit juice for just 3 days, and you will be surprised when your friends say how radiant you look!

KIWI: Tiny but mighty, and a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E & fiber. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange!

AN APPLE a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids which enhances the activity of vitamin C, thereby helping to lower the risk of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.

STRAWBERRY: Protective Fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits & protect the body from cancer-causing, blood vessel-clogging free radicals.

EATING 2 - 4 ORANGES oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones, and reduce the risk of colon cancer.

WATERMELON: Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione, which helps boost our immune system. Also a key source of lycopene, the cancer-fighting oxidant. Also found in watermelon: Vitamin C & Potassium..

GUAVA & PAPAYA: Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber, which helps prevent constipation. Papaya is rich in carotene, good for your eyes..

Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer!

Can u believe this? For those who like to drink cold water, this applies to you. It's nice to have a cold drink after a meal, however, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you've just consumed, which
slows digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer.. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

A serious note about heart attacks.

Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. Sixty percent of people who have a heart attack while they're asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Be careful, and be aware. The more we know, the better our chance to survive.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Healthy Tips/ Natural Remedies

Garlic for a Runny Nose:

Provided By:

There's no cure for a runny nose like getting the snot out, and garlic can do the trick.
Just add garlic to your meals for both a short-term treatment and long-term fortification against the next cold or flu virus.
Another idea: Boil water with a drop or two of eucalyptus oil. Stand with your head about 18 inches above the pot to avoid scalding, cover your head and the pot of water with a towel, and breathe deeply.

Vitamin C To Prevent Cold:
Provided By:

To prevent a cold, try vitamin C, delivered either the old-fashioned way with a daily dose of orange or grapefruit juice, peaches, red peppers or other vitamin C-rich food, or with a vitamin supplement. Double up with echinacea for an added boost.

Leafy Greens for Nosebleeds:

Provided By:

Dry indoor air, coupled with a sneeze, can be a recipe for nosebleeds.
A daily cup of leafy greens can provide enough vitamin K to fortify sensitive capillaries and help your blood clot quickly. Kale and collard greens have the highest vitamin K content, followed by spinach.
Another natural remedy for nosebleeds is yarrow, a flower available as a supplement.
Tea for Sore Throats
Provided By:

A little illness can take a lot out of you — like your voice or your desire to speak at all.
For a sore throat, the tea remedy is as old as time, it seems. Try jujube tea for an extra Vitamin C boost.
Other natural sore throat remedies include a goldenseal gargle, or a Pelargonium sidoides supplement.

Carrots for Headaches:
Provided By:

If the foot traffic at the mall gives you a headache, fortify yourself ahead of time with this natural remedy: a simple salad.
Phytonutrients in fresh produce, like the beta-carotene in carrots, can reduce inflammation in the blood vessels of the brain. Eating two cups a day can help some people reduce headache incidence by 70 percent!

Nuts for Energy:

Provided By:

There's nothing like watching the sunset from your office window to suck the energy out of you. No question: Winter can be tough.
Find time to exercise and to laugh, get enough sleep — and look to unsalted nuts like almonds for a good energy booster.
Raisins or dried apricots are also good options.

Pineapples for Better Digestion:

Provided By:

Eating well during the holiday season is a goal more than a reality for many of us. All that bad food can make your digestive tract complain loudly.
Make a half cup of pineapple part of your routine to reduce intestinal inflammation, speed the breakdown of protein and, most important, reduce gas.

Tomatoes for Burns:

A pellet or wood stove can be an efficient way to warm your home, but it can also leave you walking away with a burn.
For minor burns, slice a tomato and apply it to the burn, allowing the juice to fully dry. Tomatoes have nature's healthiest dose of lycopene, which is anti-inflammatory.

Also try a baking soda and water salve or St. John's wort oil.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

VinceMatth Blogs..: An Annoying Taxi Driver

VinceMatth Blogs..: An Annoying Taxi Driver

An Annoying Taxi Driver

An Annoying Taxi Driver:

Have you experienced riding on a taxi where the driver doesn’t know anything?
Does not familiar in the common places?
Could speak Basic English and could not understand what you’re saying?
And worst is doesn’t even know the basic traffic rules?

Well the horrible experienced with my 7months pregnant wife and I last Saturday morning shock our world with this brainless taxi driver. The moment we get in the car and told that we are going to one place… he doesn’t event bother to tell right away that he does not understand us and he is not familiar on the place where we are going too? When the green signal where on, he just hit the accelerator and go in without looking on the side mirror left and right if he will might hit somebody…hmmm…

He made a U Turn to the road there is a signal of “NO U TURN”… and missed the first exit….
While on another stop light… that’s the time he told us that he didn’t know the place by saying ”you tell location – you tell location” grrrrrr….

When we are giving the directions where to go, we have found out that he could not understand us at all… and missed the exit on the main road… that’s the time we get nervous coz we don’t know what will happen next… then the driver suddenly reverse the car without checking the back and both side mirror then a big bang...crash… my wife and I get really shocked… and that happens in a second…

I get most nervous for my baby and my wife… where I don’t know what I will do first…. We get out in the car despite this foolish taxi driver asked as to stay in side the car…till the police comes for the incident report. We have found out that a local man with a Prado vehicle is the one whom we get hit came down to checked us…as we didn’t stay for that long…luckily a Good Samaritan Indian national gives us a help and ride to drop us to the nearby city area.

Dubai Taxi should have not hire drivers who does not speak common language (English) does not familiar in the common areas and does not know the basic traffic rules.
Be very careful… make sure to ask the driver first before you get in the car… this will be much safer to save our lives.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Rules From God To Start Your Day

Rules from God  To start your day,

…you should…

Rule #1 Wake Up!!!…Decide to have a good day. "Today is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalms 118:24

Rule #2 Dress Up !!…The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance; but the Lord looks at the heart." I Samuel 16:7
Rule #3 Shut Up!!… Say nice things and learn to listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking. "He who guards his lips guards his soul." Proverbs 13:3

Rule #4 Stand Up!!… For what you believe in. Stand for something or you will fall for anything. "Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good…" Galatians 6:9-10

Rule #5 Look Up !!… To the Lord. "I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Rule #6 Reach Up !!… For something higher. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6

Rule #7 Lift Up !!… Your Prayers. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to GOD." Philippians 4:6


Sunday, May 2, 2010

Put The Glass Down

Put the glass down

A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it.
He held it up for all to see; asked the students,' How much do you think this glass weighs?'
'50gms!' .... '100gms!' ......'125gms' ......the students answered.

'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor,'but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?'

'Nothing' the students said.
'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.
'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.

'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?'
Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress; paralysis;
Have to go to hospital for sure!'ventured another student; all the students laughed.

'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?' asked

The professor. 'No' the students said.
Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?'
The students were puzzled.

'Put the glass down!' said one of the students.

'Exactly!' said the professor.' Life's problems are something like this.
Hold it for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK.

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.
It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but

EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep.
That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh & strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!'


Para Sa Mga OFW Na hindi pa nakakabasa Nito..

Sa may asawa, kapatid, anak, kaibigan, at kamag-anak na OFW.

At lalo na sa mga gustong mangibang-bansa. ..

Naisko rin ibahagi sa inyo, ang natanggap kong email na ito.

Maaaringmakatulong ito upang lalong maintindihan ng bawa't isa ang tunay na ibig sabihin ng pagiging isang OFW. Tiyak na may mapupulot tayong aral dito.

Hindi mayaman ang OFW - We have this notion na 'pag OFW o nasa abroad ay mayaman na. Hindi totoo yun.
A regular OFW might earn from P20K-P30K per month depende sa lokasyon.
Yung mga taga-Saudi or US siguro ay mas malaki ang sweldo, but to say that they're rich is a fallacy (amen!).

Malakiang pangangailangan kaya karamihan ay nag-a-abroad. Maraming bunganga ang kailangang pakainin kaya umaalis ang mga pipol sa Philippines.
Madalas, 3/4 o kalahati ng sweldo ay napupunta sa tuition ng anak at gastusin ng pamilya.

Mahirapmaging OFW - Kailangan magtipid hangga't kaya.
Oo, masarap ang pagkain sa abroad pero madalas na paksiw o adobo at itlog lang tinitira para makaipon.
Pagdatingng kinsenas o katapusan, ang unang tinitingnan eh ang conversion ng peso sa dollar o rial o euro.
Masokay na magtiis sa konti kaysa gutumin ang pamilya.

Kapagumuuwi, kailangan may baon kahit konti kasi maraming kamag-anak ang sumusundo sa airport o naghihintay sa probinsya.
Alam mo naman 'pag Pinoy, yung tsismis na OFW ka eh surely attracts a lot of kin.
Kapaghindi mo nabigyan ng pasalubong eh magtatampo na yun at sisiraan ka na.
Well, hindi naman lahat pero I'm sure sa mga OFW dito eh may mga pangyayaring ganun.

Magtatrabaho ka sa bansang iba ang tingin sa mga Pinoy.
Malamang marami ang naka-experience ng gulang o discrimination to their various workplaces.
Sigelang, tiis lang, iniiyak na lang kasi kawawa naman pamilya 'pag umuwi.
Besides, wala ka naman talagang maasahang trabaho sa Philippines ngayon.
Mahal ang bigas, ang gatas, ang sardinas, ang upa sa apartment.
Tiislang kahit maraming kupal sa trabaho, kahit may sakit at walang nag-aalaga, kahit hindi masarap ang tsibog, kahit pangit ang working conditions, kahit delikado, kahit mahirap.

Kapagnakapadala ka na, okay na, tawag lang, "hello! kumusta na kayo?".
Hindi bato ang OFW - Tao rin ang OFW, hindi money o cash machine.
Napapagodrin, nalulungkot (madalas), nagkakasakit, nag-iisip at nagugutom.
Kailangandin ang suporta, kundi man physically, emotionally o spiritually man lang.

Tumatandarin ang OFW - Sa mga nakausap at nakita ko, marami ang panot at kalbo na.
Most of them have signs and symptoms of hypertension, coronary artery disease and arthritis.
Yet, they continue to work thinking about the family they left behind.
Maramiang nasa abroad, 20-30 years na, pero wala pa ring ipon. Kahit anong pakahirap, sablay pa rin.
Masakitpa kung olats rin ang sinusuportahang pamilya - ang anak adik o nabuntis; ANG ASAWA MAY KINAKASAMA NA RIN.
Naalalako tuloy ang sikat na kanta dati, "NAPAKASAKIT KUYA EDDIE!"

Bayaniang OFW - Totoo yun! Ngayon ko lang na na-realize na bayani ang OFW sa maraming bagay.
Hindi bayani na tulad ni Nora Aunor o Flor Contemplacion.
Bayaniin the truest sense of the word. Hindi katulad ni Rizal o Bonifacio na kalayaan ang ipinaglaban.
Mashigit pa dun, mas maraming giyera at gulo ang pinapasok ng OFW para lang mabuhay.

Masmaraming pulitika ang kailangang suungin para lang tumagal sa trabaho lalo na't kupal ang mga kasama sa trabaho.
Masmahaba ang pasensya kaysa sa mga ordinaryong kongresista o senador sa Philippines dahil sa takot na mawalan ng sweldo.
Matindiang OFW - Matindi ang pinoy. Matindi pa sa daga, o cockroaches which survived the cataclysmic evolution.

Maramingsakripisyo pero walang makitang tangible solutions or consequences.
Malasng OFW, swerte ng pulitiko - Hindi umuupo ang OFW para magbigay ng autograph o interbyuhin ng media (unless nakidnap!).
Madalas nasa sidelines lang ang OFW. Kapag umaalis, malungkot and on the verge of tears.

Kapagdumadating, swerte 'pag may sundo( madalas meron).
Kapagnaubos na ang ipon, wala ng kamag-anak. Sana sikat ang OFW para may boses sa Kamara.
Angswerte ng mga politiko nakaupo sila at ginagastusan ng pera ng Filipino.
Hindi nga sila naiinitan o napapaso ng langis, o napagagalitan ng amo, o kumakain ng paksiw para makatipid, o nakatira sa compound with conditions less than favorable, o nakikisama sa ibang lahi para mabuhay. Ang swerte, sobrang swerte nila.

Matatagang OFW - Matatag ang OFW, mas matatag pa sa sundalo o kung ano pang grupo na alam nyo.
Magalingsa reverse psychology, negotiations at counter-attacks.
Tatagal ba ang OFW?
Tatagalpa kasi hindi pa natin alam kailan magbabago ang Philippines , kailan nga kaya?
o may tsansa pa ba?

Masarapisipin na kasama mo ang pamilya mo araw-araw.
Nakikitamo mga anak mong lumalaki at naaalagaan ng maayos.
Masarapkumain ng sitaw, ng bagoong, lechon, inihaw na isda, taba ng talangka.
Masarapmanood ng pelikulang Pinoy, luma man o bago.
Ibapa rin ang pakiramdam kung kilala mo ang kapitbahay mo.

Ibapa rin sa Philippines , iba pa rin kapag Pinoy ang kasama mo except ('pag kupal at utak-talangka) , iba pa rin 'pagnagkukwento ka at naiintindihan ng iba ang sinasabi mo.
Ibapa rin ang tunog ng "mahal kita!", "day, ginahigugma tika." "Mingaw na ko nimo ba, kalagot!", " Inday, diin ka na subong haw? ganahan guid ko simo ba".
Ibapa rin talaga.
Sigelang, tiis lang, saan ba't darating din ang pag-asa.

Kung OFW ka at binabasa mo ito, mabuhay ka dahil ikaw ang tunay na BAYANI ng lahing PILIPINO!!!

One Race, One Blood, One Love


Friday, April 30, 2010

Reason Why God Uses Problems

Reasons Why God Uses Problems

The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you depending on how you respond to them.

Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to

use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their

problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring.

Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:

1.God Uses Problems To DIRECT U

Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving.

Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change.

Is God trying to get your attention? "Sometimes it takes

a painful situation to make us change our ways."

2. God Uses Problems To INSPECT U

P eople are like tea bags…if you want to know what’s inside them,

just drop them into hot ever water! Has God tested

your faith with a problem What do problems reveal about you?

"When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full

of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith,

and this will give you patience."

3. God Uses Problems To CORRECT U

S ome lessons we learn only through pain and failure.

It’s likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove.

But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn

the value of something… health, money, a relationship. ..

by losing it. "It was the best thing that could have happened to me,

for it taught me to pay attention to your laws."

4. God Uses Problems To PROTECT U

A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from

being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend

was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss

had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but

it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year

later when management’s actions were eventually discovered.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…

5. God Uses Problems To PERFECT U

Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders.

God is far more interested in your character than your comfort.

Your relationship to God and your character are the only two

things you’re going to take with you into eternity.

"We can rejoice when we run into problems…

they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of

character in us and helps us trust God more each time

we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady."

Here’s the point Ad:

God is at work in your life - even when you do not recognize it or understand it.

But it’s much easier and profitable when you cooperate with Him.

"Success can be measured not only in achievements, but in lessons learned,

lives touched and moments shared along the way"

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Nothing Happens by Chance.One

" The Little Things"

  • As you remember, the head of compony survived the 9/11 because his son started kindergarten.
  • Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.
  • One woman was late because her alarm didn't go off in time.
  • One of them missed his bus.
  • One spilled food on the her cloths and had to take to change.
  • One's car wouldn't start.
  • One couldn't get a taxi.
  • The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band Aid. That is why he is alive today.

Now When I am stuck in traffic, Miss an elevator, Turn back to answer a ringing telephone.
All the little things that annoy me, I think to my self, this exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment.

Next time you morning seems to be going wrong.

The Children are slow getting dressed,
You can't seem to find the car keys,
You hit every traffic lights,
Don't get mad or frustrated:
It may be just that,
God is at work watching over you.

May God continue to bless you,

With all those annoying little things.

And may you remember their possible purpose.

The Sexes

Paid To Do It, But Fails To Make His Friends Wife Pregnant After 72 Attempts.    

In Stuttgart germany, a court judge must decide on a case of hororable intentions in a situation where a man hired his neighbor to get his wife pregnant. It seems that Demet Souples, 29 and his former beauty queen wife Terute, wanted a child badly, but Demet was told by a doctor that he was aterile.
So Souples, after calming his wife's protests, hired his neighbor, Frank Sunk, 34, to impregnate her. Since Frank was already married and the father of two children, plus looked very much like Souples to boot, the plan seemed good.
Soupoles paid Frank worth $2500 for the job and for three evenings a week for the next six months, Frank tried desperately, a total of 72 different times, to impregnate Terute. When his own wife objected, he explained, I don't like this anymore than you. Im simply doing it for the money. Try and understand.
When Terute failed to get pregnant after six months, however, Souples was not understanding and insisted that Frank have a medical examination, which he did.
The doctor's announcement that Frank was also sterile, everyone was shocked except his wife who was forced to confess that Frank was not the real father of their two children . Now Souples is suing Frank for breach of contract in an effort to get his money back, but Frank refused to give it up because he said he did not guarantee the conception, but only that he would give an honest effort.
I think Frank was right although he knew that he also sterile but he did give any guarantee for conception, the only mistake by Frank was not telling the truth from the bigining.
So next time be careful for hiring that such stupid job..
Really like this story..

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

New Employees rules.

Effective today:

Dress Code:
1- It is advised that you need to come to work according to your salary , if you are wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assumed that you are doing well financially and therefore you don't need a salary to be raised.

2- If you dressed poorly you need to learn to manage your salary better so that you can afford buying a nice cloths, and therefore you don't need a salary increase.

If you dress just right, means you are good where you need to be and therefore you do not need your salary to be increased.

Sick Days:
1- We will no longer accept any medical certificate from any doctors as proof of your sickness, if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work as well.

Holiday Days:
1- Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. Its called Saturday and Sunday.

Compassionate leave:
1- This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.

2- In the rare cases where the employee involvement is necessary, the funiral should be scheduled during the late afternoon. We will be glad you to work through your lunch our and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use:
1- In general too much time being spent in the toilet, There is now a strict three minutes time limit in the cubicles.

2- At the end of the three minutes, the alarm will automatically On and make sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will automatically open and your picture will be taken.

3- After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the compony notice board under the Category of chronic offenders.

4- Anyone caught smilling in the picture will be sanctioned under the compony's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:
1- Skinny employee will get only 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look more healthy.

2- Normal size employee will get only 15 minutes for lunch in order to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

3- Chubby employee will get only 5 minutes for lunch, because that's only the time needed to eat and drink get slim fast.

Thank for being loyal to our company, All questions, comments, complaints, frustrations, irretations, aggrevations, allegations, accusations, contemplations and input should be directed elsewhere.......